To achieve our personal goals and to let ourselves be really happy, we need to develop and maintain self-esteem and self-confidence.
This is possible, by understanding the difference between worldly self-confidence and authentic self-confidence. And can distinguish between self-confidence and self-absorption, that prevents us from, to fulfill our desire for true happiness. We then use proven methods, we can build our self-confidence so and increase, that it is stable and durable.
In his book, How do we transform our lives says Geshe Kelsang Gyatso clear, how to build authentic self confidence, and how to then brings this experience in modern life. Excerpts from the book, which is also available as a free eBook download, are included in the following explanation.
What's authentic self confidence?
Let's take an honest look at our lives and those of people around us, we will see, that we put in the search for happiness a lot of our time and energy into improving the external circumstances - as our wealth and property to multiply, to improve our reputation or a better partner or. to find a better partner. but we can see from our own experience, that we never lasting happiness, we all want to see, enjoy, we are no matter how successful in, collect these external conditions. Try to develop self-confidence we, which is based on our ability, gather better secular terms - "worldly self-confidence" -, will always remain a sense of inadequacy and disappointment. Worldly self-confidence will never be fully attained or remain stable, because we can never be completely satisfied with our worldly conditions and benefits or keep them.
In the introduction to How do we transform our lives says the Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso:
Since this world was created, People looking for happiness and solving their problems have almost all their time and energy spent on, to improve the external conditions. And with what result? Their requests were not met, Instead, take human suffering and problems, while the experience of happiness and peace decreases. This clearly shows, that we have not found the right method to date, to reduce our problems and to increase our happiness.
But there is also a kind of self-confidence, which is totally free from worldly aspirations. "Authentic self-confidence" is based on our desire for spiritual attainments and can never lead to damage or dissatisfaction. A confidence, based on the request, helping others, as we aggrandize our love and compassion for them, will be strong and stable and always lead to good results.
self-confidence, based on spiritual pursuits, makes our human life precious and meaningful. Because spiritual goals are the only conditions, which lead us to lasting happiness, we desire. The Ven. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains:
we use our human life, to gain spiritual realizations, so it is extremely meaningful. we use it in this way, then we realize our full potential and proceed on the state of an ordinary, ignorant system proceeds to the state of a full-lit system, the highest of all beings. Have we reached the, then we have the power, to help all living beings without exception. So we use our human life, to gain spiritual realizations, then we can solve all our human problems and fulfill all our own and other people's wishes. What could be more significant than the?
With this understanding, we can see, that authentic self confidence can only be achieved through spiritual realizations due to internal development.
Self-confidence and self-esteem versus to feel important
So, we must understand, what's authentic self confidence, we must also learn, do not confuse it with some form of self-centeredness or harmful intentions. The Ven. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso identifies the harmful attitude of "self-esteem" as such a spirit. This is a mindset, thinking: "I am important", while neglecting other, and he explains, that it is the source of all our problems and our misfortune. In How do we transform our lives is it [called:
we may sometimes confuse self-esteem with self-confidence or self-esteem, but in reality they have nothing in common. Not out of self-respect, we always want the best for ourselves. Not out of self-respect, we deceive others, exploiting them or leave them in the lurch. If we are sincere, we see, that it is our self-esteem, that allows us to act in a manner, that robs us of our self-respect and destroy our confidence. Some people are driven by their self-esteem in the quagmire of alcoholism or drug addiction and thereby lose even the last remnant of self-respect.
Authentic self-confidence is therefore unmixed with self-centered mental states such as self-esteem and instead connected with useful states of mind, which only lead to happiness for ourselves and others.
How to be confident
Do we understand the difference between authentic self-confidence and harmful settings such as self-esteem right, we can learn, how to be confident, by being constantly in our practice of mental training on the path of compassion and wisdom.
Buddha gave thousands of instructions. But the origins of all the great achievements of the Buddhist path to enlightenment are the meditations on love, Compassion and the supreme good heart of bodhichitta - a ghost, which wishes spontaneously, to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. The training in these meditations will give us a big confidence, on our desire and our ability, helping others, is based. In How do we transform our lives, a text, which is also available as a free eBook, says Ven. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso:
[…] Our self-esteem and our self-confidence are greater, the more we appreciate others and help them. For example, the Bodhisattva vows, in which the Bodhisattva promises, to overcome all the mistakes and shortcomings, to acquire all the good qualities and so long to work for all living things, until they are freed from the sufferings of samsara, Expression of enormous self-confidence, which far exceeds that of a self-centered system.
The first step, to achieve this goal, is, to reduce our desire for our own happiness, what our self-esteem is, and to replace this with a spirit, the wishes, the others to be happy. As Ven. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains:
If we sincerely practice every day in, to stop the desire, all the time to be happy, and wish instead, others to be happy all the time, so we will understand from personal experience, that we experience through this exercise no more problems and are no longer unhappy, as it prevents the adhesion to the fulfillment of our desires. We want to experience truly pure and everlasting happiness and be free from want, we must learn, to control our mind, especially our desire.
We should strive everyday, the ghost, the other appreciates, to develop and improve, we are finally a great being, a bodhisattva, and our salutary influence will exceed the limits of our present imagination far.
How do we transform our lives - a blissful journey
How do we transform our lives Geshe Kelsang Gyatso offers all the necessary techniques and practical advice for us, to enable real inner development and transformation.
By putting the instructions, set forth in this book, we can transform our lives from a state of emergency in a state of pure and everlasting happiness. These instructions are scientific methods, to improve our human nature. Everyone needs a good heart, a benign nature, because we can solve our own problems as well as those of others and give meaning to our human life. Every living being has the same basic desire: to be happy and to avoid suffering. even newborns, Animals and insects want the. Since beginningless time this was our main wish and we have it all the time, even when we sleep. We spend our whole lives, to work hard, to fulfill this wish.